Last week Will Ferrell brought back the jazz flute. While dressed in full Burgundy character, Ferrell appeared as a guest on Conan O’Brien’s late night show and announced the production of “Anchorman 2”. He didn’t reveal the story line, characters, or anything else about the follow up to 2004’s original except for saying in a “Funny or Die” exclusive that the film would be “further chronicling of my life.” Well, “Anchorman” is one of favorite films, so here goes 5 possible plot lines for the highly anticipated sequel. Feel free to submit your own as well.
1. Ron Burgundy Hits Primetime
When we first met Ron Burgundy in the original “Anchorman”, he was the top news reporter in San Diego. He captained the Channel 4 News team to a top spot in the ratings and a comfortable cycle of news reporting, partying, picnics, leather bound books, and so on. The first film centered on Ron’s desire to be a top network anchor while dealing with a new partner in Veronica Corningstone. At the end of “Anchorman”, Ron and Veronica are both promoted to primetime network news, which could be a frontrunner for the jump off point of “Anchorman 2”. In this version, we will see Ron in a new location, gone from friendly and close-knit San Diego and the news team in which he calls all the shots. The film could center on Ron’s adjustment, his ego ballooning even more, and his unfamiliarity with certain customs and procedures. Can you imagine Burgundy on a NYC subway? It will be interesting to see if they keep the film in the 70’s/early 80’s or take Ron’s act into the future. If they do go in this direction it will also be interesting to see if Burgundy’s former news team will be there with him, or we’ll get a whole new supporting cast.
2. Bachelor Burgundy
Ron Burgundy was the ultimate lady’s man before meeting Veronica Corningstone. He fell for her immediately, and the two went on to have a very serious relationship. Flipping the script, Bachelor Burgundy would start at the end of Ron’s relationship with Veronica. Ron is heart broken, lost, and eager to get back in the game. Ron’s dog, Baxter (a definite fan favorite), is by his side supplying more “hairy-buddha” advice on life and love, while Paul Rudd returns as Brian Fantana. Fantana is balding, getting fatter, and applying extra dosages of Sex Panther to get back in the groove. He’s in dire need of a place to crash, and looking for Burgundy to play the wingman, embrace his star power and bang as many girls as possible.
3. Even More Wooden Ships
One of more memorable quotes from the first film is Ron Burgundy’s definition of diversity as “an old wooden ship.” His clear ignorance of diversity is also matched by his total indifference. He doesn’t know, and frankly doesn’t care. Papa Burgundy’s world was rocked when the station hired its first female anchor in Veronica Corningstone. Well, that was just the tip of the iceberg in the 1970’s. One possible plot line for “Anchorman 2” is Burgundy’s introduction to the Equal Opportunity Act. What will Ron do when the news station introduces its first bi-lingual broadcast, hires minorities, or sends him off to cover a gay pride parade? Trust that the hilarity will ensue, as Ron learns from other cultures and realizes the wooden ships aren’t that bad after all.
4. Ron Burgundy meets the Internet
Holy shit. Can you imagine Ron Burgundy in 2012? This is the guy that thought Sportscenter would be a cultural and financial disaster. Watching Ron Burgundy transition into the age of 24-hour news broadcasts, talking heads, iPhones, and Twitter would probably be the most awesome movie ever. I would love to see Ron Burgundy conduct a hologram interview, and just the introduction to someone named will.i.am would be priceless. “What in the world is a Lady Gaga?”
5. Wes Mantooth’s Revenge
If I know one thing, you can only beat somebody so many times before they strike back. While Burgundy’s been living the good life on prime time, Wes Mantooth has taken a turn for the worst, and he’s not happy about it. While he gave props to Burgundy at the end of the first film, it was all an act and he is as bitter as ever. In this potential plot line we’re taken into Mantooth’s basement where he’s been throwing knives at Ron Burgundy cut outs, recording a manifesto to mini-tape, and plotting revenge.