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What Happened During Super Bowl XLIX’s Halftime Show?

Katy Perry Super Bowl Sharks

I am a massive football fan. I do not watch the Super Bowl to fit into the cultural zeitgeist, but rather because I want to watch the game. The halftime show could not be less important to me, especially when it stars Katy Perry, who is one of my least favorite musicians.

That being said, KATY PERRY’S HALFTIME SHOW WAS GODDAMN AMAZING.

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Coming in on a giant lion that looked computer generated but totally wasn’t is the most baller entrance in pop history. It also served as a sad reminder of the Detroit Lions’ playoff run ending in heartbreak, but I digress. SHE RODE IN ON A ZOID. I guess she was also singing “Roar”? I couldn’t hear over the sound of my party attendees collectively losing their minds.

But did she pull out her best trick too early? It’s pretty hard to top a giant robo-lion. What animal is more rad than a lion? Oh yeah…

MOTHER

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FUCKING

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SHARKS

Yeah they were out of sync with of each other, but that just added to the magic. Besides, think about how much pressure those sharks were under? Imagine being in a giant uncomfortable costume in front of hundreds of millions of people, dancing next to a mega star who a large number of those people are hoping has another wardrobe malfunction, and having to worry about your timing and choreography. Left shark was cooler under pressure than Seahawks’ offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, at the very least.

Lenny Kravitz was also there, strutting around and making duckfaces, but who honestly has an opinion on Lenny Kravitz one way or the other (sidenote: Lenny Kravitz was the first live performer I ever saw, opening for Aerosmith).

The far more important guest appearance from a musician who hasn’t been relevant in over a decade was the one and only Missy Elliott.

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In her best cameo since Pootie Tang, Misdemeanor brought us back to a time when pop-rap was gloriously weird and original, burning through a medley of “Get Ur Freak On,” “Work It” and my favorite song from middle school, “Lose Control.” Sadly there was no Fatman Scoop present.

This halftime show had everything. Bombast. Comedy. Weirdness. Good music (at least at the end). It topped that time Madonna had a Richard Simmons lookalike bouncing taint-first on a rope. It may even have topped Prince playing “Purple Rain” in actual rain, if that’s even possible. I still don’t like Katy Perry’s music, but for 15 minutes she was the best part of one of the best Super Bowls ever played. Whoever plays Super Bowl 50 (Taylor Swift?) is going to have a lot to live up to.

Go Sharks.

Travis Marmon recently moved to Chicago from the Detroit suburb of Clarkston, Michigan. He attended the College of Wooster in Wooster, Ohio, where he was Sports Editor and then Editor-in-Chief of the student newspaper, The Wooster Voice. Travis has also contributed to print and online publications such as The Oakland Press, The Good Men Project, Detroit143, Imagine Sports Media and Alternative Press. He spends his spare time playing bass and getting mad about the Detroit Lions.

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