In the modern day world of hip hop, I’m beginning to feel like some so called “artists” are blowing up merely based off their ability to wow us with their confidence in their crap music than with actual talent. In the words of Eminem, “It is NOT about lyrics anymore. All they want is a hot beat and a catchy hook.” Not to say there aren’t anymore lyricists, because that’s not true. Call me jaded, but I came up in an era of hip hop where there is no way in hell a Lil B would get an ounce of respect in this industry, let alone be touring around the world. But hey, times change, no point in being bitter about it. With that said, I recently discovered what some may say is the future. His name is Speed Darlington.
A self-proclaimed dancer turned filmmaker turned recording artist, Speed is a one man entertainment powerhouse born in Lagos, Nigeria and raised in Harlem. With a whopping 26 followers on Twitter, @SpeedDarlington is obviously the life of any party. So one can only imagine what one of his parties must be like.
Well wonder no more! Speed answers the question nice and clear for you in the video for the 2011 “summer anthem,”called “My Party,” off of his upcoming album, Let’s Dance. According to a behind-the-scenes video Speed did in the mirror at Motel 6, this is the “hottest single” and “If you are having a party this summer and you’re not playing this song… you don’t know what’s up.”
Vimeo obviously doesn’t know what’s up because they took it off their server. But fear not, it was not gone forever, thanks to WorldStar Un-cut, the Mecca of music video greatness. This video has everything you need for success. You’ve got product placement from Patron… and by that I mean, a picture of a bottle of Patron that flies at your face while changing colors and spinning around until you feel like you’re tripping balls. It also has bottles of $6 Barefoot pinot noir being popped…. Well not really being popped, more like being held carefully so they can be returned to the store later. You’ve got girls! Four whole girls!… Well two of the four look like they do security for the other two… And the other two look like the type of chick’s that go out to parties sponsored by 4Loko and get naked. One of them is nice enough to let him rest his plastic cup of wine between her butt cheeks. Speed is also a special effects guru. Gratuitous is an understatement when describing the amount of stock iMovie effects and Helvetica font plaguing this editing catastrophe. He found every single effect the program had to offer and threw it in. It’s like an Odd Future blender drink in video form.
Now on to the song itself. Remember the foreign kid in school that didn’t really speak English? Then the other kids would be dicks and tell him to go say crazy outlandish stuff to girls? Take the stuff he would say and put it to a beat made on a Casio keyboard from Walgreens. That’s “My Party” in a nutshell. Speed, if you’ve been here since the late 90’s and still haven’t wrangled English, what makes you think you should be rapping? Is it because you have a deeper message hidden in your lyrics when you say “Let me come in your ass, lets get nasty” or “Do it like a porno star, get ready to suck me, deep throat, sloppy, get ready to swallow”? Is it because you learned how to harmonize from a peacock and a seagull and you want to enhance our sonic palettes to a new level? I know, you were making those girls feel special after they got rejected from a Bang Bros casting call for being too… gross… right? I mean… What the f**k?
Well, I guess there is only one way for me to answer all these questions. I have to find that Motel 6, kick in the door, stop not knowing what’s up, and go to your party! Because THAT’S where it is! Save me a plastic cup and some of that cheap ass wine, Speed! I’m on my way!
P.S. Since most of you probably won’t suffer through to the end of this, I just thought I’d let you know that there is an advertisement that says “Get your video directed by Speed Darlington. Naijarecords@gmail.com.” He’s sharing the magic people!
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