Disclaimer: The ideas expressed by Angry Anthony are his. We just think they’re funny…
Remember when Papoose used to be this promising new artist that was on the brink of becoming the next big thing? Then all of a sudden he vanished into the abyss. Well, apparently he is ready for a come back. He want’s to reclaim his spot, he says. Well, Papoose, I don’t know what the f**k you were thinking when you chose “Donk Jumping” as a single. Actually, as I was listening to it, I thought maybe you had part of your brain removed during your leave of absence. The lyrics in this hunk-of-s**t song sound like they were ghostwritten by Bangs and 50 Tyson. I don’t know how you went from being the guy who was reviving real hip hop, to a clown with a bunch of B-List video hoes by a pool in the weakest pool party video ever. That spoof video for “Booty Shots” was better than this! I get the method of promoting your new project with lots of ass, but dog… not like this. I would expect some garbage like this from Soulja Boy or Riff Raff, but you? Shame, Papoose!
The best line in this wack ass song is… never mind. The worst line is “I’m looking for the birthday girl, make your donk jump… if you the birthday girl.” Where’d you get that one? From Special Ed on Crank Yankers? Then the rest of the song is basically reasons a girl’s ass would make the sound of the sample “budumpa-dum-dum.” But they’re stupid as hell, like walking up the stairs, hitting a pothole, or when she picks up something she dropped out her pocketbook. Seriously? What about when she’s doing her taxes, changing a lightbulb, or THROWING YOUR CD IN THE F**KING GARBAGE, PAPOOSE!
Can I meet Will C and Tana? They’re probably his weed man and his “publicist” or something. They definitely ain’t directors. I wish I could have been there when Will C said “Okay, we found the girls at a late night drag race in the alley, now all we need is an African tribal guy to play the drum in the corner,” and Papoose was like, “Why?” and they were like, “Because” and Papoose was like, “Oh, okay then.” I’m going to go ahead and take a wild guess that the guy playing the drum bought that shirt at the flea market, and stole that drum from a Rainforest Cafe, and is not from anywhere near the continent of Africa. I would also like to know if anyone can spot the chick in the bikini who looks like she’s Papoose’s grandmother with the white afro…. not sexy. Neither are the stupid glasses that the only girl in the video worth giving close-ups to is wearing. I thought they had a hidden camera in them or something… but they don’t.
Look, I love pool party videos with ass all over the place as much as the next guy. But there’s a time and a place. When you have been on a five-year hiatus from music, you don’t make your come-back with a super staged pool party video. That video should not be for a song made from the scrap lyrics you found in your junior high notebook either. Get it together, Papoose. I’ll allow this one because it will probably go unnoticed since nobody is checking for you anyway… Who am I kidding, this will probably be the next “Gucci, Gucci.” I don’t know what to expect anymore, but I will say this… Papoose, this song is a steaming hot pile of pissy garbage for someone at your talent level. If you expect to blow the dust off of any fans you may still have, you better come with something better than this crap next.
In other news… Ja Rule just pushed back Pain is Love 2. I know you’re all waiting with bated breath.