We live in an era where technology has made it entirely too simple for anyone to make a song. In our line of work we get to see the best and worst. Sometimes I feel like people treat the RH inbox like those fishbowls at a Denny’s host stand that people throw business cards in for some mysterious reason, rather than really take the time to think about what they’re sending to us. Every morning we wake up to dozens of submissions of songs, videos, interview requests, and we are thankful for them. However, there a lot people out here with too much money and not enough talent. I see some of this stuff and I feel like there’s NO WAY they listened to, or watched this crap before they hit the send button. Like, seriously, what the f**k?
I decided it would be a good idea to share some of this gold with the RH audience. Today we have a girl who goes by the name of Brooker T, a wordplay on the name of an historical African American Civil Rights leader and educator, Booker T. Washington. I’m sure the first black man ever invited to the White House would be oh so proud to see his impact on the young author of classic songs like “Klit,” “Cherry Pop,” and “Grippin’ That Daddy.” In this video, Brooker T stands in one place for two minutes and six seconds and delivers her newest piece of… art, entitled “Swallow Hard.”
Sex sells, true. Raunchy lyrics usually sell too. But I don’t think you’re ready for a raptor in a dress wearing dollar store imitation Kanye glasses from ’08, talking about how the “syrup” of her crotch tastes. Naw… y’all ain’t ready. Her twitter name is @spitonmebitch (not kidding) and she is making her own lane of “Big white girl Rap” where you rap graphically and horribly about your sexual prowess. I think I speak for all of us when I say I’m geeked to find out what’s under that one-piece swim suit you took from a retirement home lost and found, Miss T. Mmm yea.
The beat on this track is produced by Christian Rich and it isn’t too bad. But, despite what too many rappers these days think, dope beats will not always save you from your garbage ass lyrics. Speaking of lyrics, I think the bootleg Kanye shades turn Brooker into a muthafuckin’ lyrical wordsmith muthafuckin’ genius! With lines like “Kissing on my clit like mistletoe,” or “Smokin’ on that cock,” and my all time favorite…. “Put it in my booty, I’m tight on that,” those things have to be magical! I think they also have the power to make her think she’s an irresistible sexpot who’s “squirt tastes like Sprite.”
Seeing as this chick kind of looks like Predator, I felt more fearful than turned on when she deep throats a hot dog at the end of this video, to be honest. I don’t know, maybe there’s something wrong with me. If anything, you should watch the video for some of the best slow motion in the game, like when she pours some kind of orange drank all over her face for like ten minutes. I’d comment on the other girls at this “party” but I don’t think they’re of age.
So miss Brooker T, here’s to you and your .15 seconds of fame as a rapper before you go back to backyard wrestling or wherever the hell you came from. Everyone, I present to you, “Swallow Hard.”
Follow: @Tony_Shane
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Kbal7jdq_I