Since this is the second to last finale American Idol will ever get to celebrate, they went for the completely awesome “kitchen sink” method. The finale was full of so many weird choices that perfectly reflect the show’s constant struggle to appeal to millenials while refusing to get rid of its old fashioned ways. You had the terrible kid Daniel Seavey performing with New Kids on the Block, Pitbull showed up in like three different performances (with Chris Brown and then Prince Royce), three of the Jackson 5 members sang with another child Tyanna Jones, Janelle Monae slayed with her weird new single (which is completely different from anything she’s done so far),  Jamie Foxx performed with Rayvon, Fall Out Boy was there for some reason, Vance Joy didn’t let Quentin sing much, Jax finally got some closure from her terribly quick elimination after her performance proved she was better than the remaining two finalists, Ford cars were given away weirdly while Season 12 winner Candice Glover sadly stood in the background unacknowledged, Clark Beckham sang with Michael McDonald and it worked way better than you’d think, and finally Nick Fradiani sang with a guy I swear was his twin.

Suffice to say, it was a weird, weird show to cap off such an awkward growing season. As Scott Borchetta stated, the winner this season will present at the Country Music Awards and perform at the Country Music Television awards. So I’m sure the winner will have a very solid country album. After hearing all of that, I’m so glad Jax didn’t win since she’s way too interesting to be forced into a country holding. Okay, that’s enough stalling.

The winner of American Idol Season 14 is…

Nick Fradiani, American Idol XIV winner

…Nick Fradiani. 

I had predicted he’d take the title after he seemed to pick the right three songs to perform during the final round, and as I said in that article, Nick’s going to do pretty much what his new label, Big Machine Records, tells him to do. After Clark Beckham fought with the man in charge to keep his musicality, he was sent into a down spiral from which he never quite recovered. All the while Nick was the Little Engine that Could just kept chugging along at the same pace, never changing his style or performances, and never causing a ruckus.

As quite possibly the most boring American Idol winner in its 14 season history, Nick will paradoxically make a ton of money over a long career. America eats that up with a damn spoon. If he can fare better than Season 12 “winner” Candice Glover or Season 13 “winner” Caleb Johnson (who both weren’t invited to sing at their successor’s finales), Nick could be okay. We’ll just have to wait until next year to see what the final season has in store.